Being angry at God isn’t something much people speak about, I’ve never heard about it growing up. However, I’ve been angry at God and have felt anger towards Him again recently but, handled it with a new perspective. With our earthly father we get upset so, why can’t we get upset with God? God is our Father too (Matthew 6:11). There’re various reasons why we get upset with our earthly father maybe they were never there, they abandoned us, they abused us, they didn’t give us what we want at the time we wanted it, they never showed us the love we probably deserved, they hurt us, they’re inconsistent and the list can go on. I’ve learned that how we view our earthly father is probably how we view our heavenly Father. So, what do we do when we’re upset/angry with God? I’ll share some steps but first I’ll share two distinct times I was upset with God.
My experiences being upset with God
The first distinct time I was angry with God was at the age of 14. I just got baptized and life was good. Then one day I had a wave of suppressed thoughts flood my mind and I remembered about my abuse. Shortly after, I started to think if God is so mighty and virtuous then why would He let that happen? If He loved me as much as the Bible says, then why did He leave me? Why didn’t He protect me? Then I figured if He couldn’t protect me and He could abandon me then what’s the point of Him, I might as well live my life for me. Have you ever felt that way? Or maybe that was just me. Of course, those are lies from the enemy, but I fell for it and I decided to harden my heart towards God for years after that till I turned about 18; then I decided maybe I’ll let Him in BUT slowly. Fast forward to March of 2019, I now have a different understanding of God, so I handled it differently. I left a counseling session and I felt heaviness on my chest, and I was angry! I wanted to race home and cry, but I went to bible study first and I’m glad I did. They spoke about the story of raising Lazarus from the dead (John 11:1-44); and even though Jesus knew Lazarus would die and He would soon be raised from the dead, He still mourned for Lazarus! So, when I reached my home I cried and poured out my heart to God. I told Him I was angry, hurt, and that I didn’t understand it says He loves me, why did He allow this to happen to me? During that I was reminded 1) God didn’t allow or want this to happen BUT we live in a fallen world and we have free will (ability to make choices on our own), so that person wasn’t controlled by God when he did what he did. 2) God was there, and it hurt Him more than it hurt me. 3) God didn’t leave me, nor does He leave you and He NEVER will, even though it may feel like it.
Steps to take when you do get upset/angry with God
1) PRAY, it may seem cliché, but this is important in all things with God. You must pray! You must open your heart and be honest with Him, He already sees your heart anyways (Jeremiah 17:10). He wants to hear from you and talk to you, so pray to Him. Cry out to Him like the psalmist David did in (Psalms 42:9-11).
2) Remind yourself that God is PERFECT. God is much greater than our earthly father, (Luke 11:11-13). So, don’t allow the anger you may feel towards your earthly father or another individual, lead you to be angry with God.
3) Remember yes, your earthly father may have left you or you feel he left you BUT God never leaves you. (Deuteronomy 31:6). When you feel He doesn’t see you, hear you, know He’s right there with you.
4) Rest in knowing that God restores what has been taken from his children! He was mourning for you before it happened and as it happened. All the cracks in your heart that this fallen world created can be filled permanently with God if you let Him in. Read (Matthew 11:28), (Deuteronomy 30:3-10), & (Psalms 147:3).
Praying for all your broken hearts, this life isn’t always fair BUT our God is just and has already prepared the road before you!
God loves you more than you know
I love you and remember you’re Chosen, Bianca Brown